resigning

(written around 9:00am this morning)
Sitting at my desk, my heart is heavy in my chest. This morning driving to work my heart felt the same. I drove faster than normal, some how I thought this would help. Now I have to sit here for another hour and a half and try to ignore the rock inside my chest.

Today I'm resigning from work.
I called my manager first thing this morning, but he'll be in a meeting until 10:30, so I'll have to wait. This is hard for me to tell my manager. He has been so supportive and flexible, I feel like I'm letting him down. I must have been a catholic in my previous life; I always feel guilty.

(written around 10:45am)
I can breath. That was so difficult. I had a whole speech planned: tell him and then soften it by say it's not for another 5 weeks and I'd like to still take on projects on a contract basis.

So I went into a conference room and called him. When he answered I said hello and asked him how he was. He said "not good, I had a bad weekend". I said "I'm sorry, I have something to tell you that's not going to make things any better". So I told him that I was resigning, but not because of him or colleagues or the work, but that I'm resigning because I'm moving to Argentina.....he laughed. It was a laugh of kindness, a genuine laugh that had no hidden meanings. I tried to continue with my planned speech, but he asked me to wait. I could tell he was smiling. He asked me to tell him again, he needed to process it. Once he thought it over, he said that was the best reason he ever heard for resigning. He congratulated me and wished me well. I'm so lucky to have had a supportive charismatic manager. I realize not too many people can say that. My last day will be on November 20th.