Thursday, September 4, 2008

Allowing myself to be out of control

"The best way to predict your future is to create it!" -- Abraham Lincoln

I like to plan, to feel prepared, to make things happen. I like to be in control of my life.

I was able to fully recognize this personality trait of mine last night when I met up with my Dominican. I thought our plan was to go for a drink before salsa, but he suggested meeting early; at 7pm. I agreed, but was thrown off guard. Are we having dinner? Should I wear my normal typical salsa clothes (a tad revealing and not so appropriate for walking around the city). Should I dress up, but it's a Wednesday. Maybe a shirt with sequence and capris, but is sequence ok for a Wednesday, it seems like sequence should be reserved for the weekend? Will we go to salsa afterwards? Together? The unknown, just in this small instance made me go a little crazy.

Over a glass of red wine, the Dominican, who is very observant, made the observation that I tend to get bored easily (I was talking about my job). He asked why haven't I gotten bored with salsa yet.

I never thought about that before. Why haven't I gotten bored with salsa? I think it's because when I'm salsaing, I play the part of the follower, that's the womans role on the dance floor (but just on the dance floor). I have no idea what steps are coming next, I have little idea what is going to happen. I'm out of my element of needing to know. Someone else (the man) has to take that role. It's scary to me, but I like it. Also, I feel like I'll never master salsa, I'll never be perfect, it will always be a challenge ~ I like the feeling of the unknown and temporarily not being in control.

It's ok to be out of control, but only for a short time.

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