Thursday, October 30, 2008


lately i've been feeling uninhibited and others around me are feeling it too.

When I tell acquaintances I'm moving to Argentina they light up, congratulate me with sincere enthusiasm and tell me positive things about myself; like "you have done so much for our organization, thank you for your energy and commitment". It's nice to hear these things, I just wish I could space all these positive compliments over a years time, nevertheless I'm appreciative of their well wishes and positive energy.

as for me being uninhibited. where do i begin? i'll start on the salsa floor. can't believe i'm sharing this...let me start by saying i tend to be conservative, i like my space and i don't like to get close and 'sexy' with salseros...ok i lie, i like to get close to one. any way, lately, i have no care, i feel no restraint and i must say it feels really good. i'm out there on the floor, feeling the music, being swung around and then held in tightly and spun around in a close embrase. i almost wish i would have been uninhibited my last 2 years of salsa. it's more fun this way.
i started seeing my dominican again. he holds my attention. i know the relationship will not develop instead its a mire escapade. this relationship feels unrestrained; we know where each other stands and there are no expectations. we both know it will end in the coming weeks... When I'm with him I feel like i can abandoned my shell and i'm just me. i'm not trying to put on a good impression and i don't mind the possibility of making a fool of myself. There is nothing to lose, i will never see him again. i almost wish i could feel this way in every relationship.  
at work i find myself telling people my true, undisguised thoughts. i'm not saying anything offensive or disrespectful, but since i know i'm leaving, i say what's on my mind and i don't worry about stepping on toes. i feel free of social restrictions that i cast on myself.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

Amazing how your new chapter in life can free you in so many ways.